The holiday season is a time to gather with friends, family, and chosen loved ones. It’s a time for traditions, festive decor, and, of course, humor to keep spirits bright! Adding a little LGBTQ+ flair can bring even more cheer and laughter to the season. Whether you’re looking to crack up a holiday gathering or share a giggle with your partner under the mistletoe, these lesbian Christmas jokes will make everyone smile. This list of 43 original jokes is perfect for those who want a festive laugh with a dash of sapphic wit.
Christmas and Coming Out
1. Why did the lesbian tell everyone at Christmas she was a vegetarian? She thought it’d soften the blow for when she came out!
2. What’s a lesbian’s favorite Christmas card? “Lesbi-honest, you make the holidays brighter!”
3. How did the lesbian come out to her family during Christmas dinner? She told them, “I only brought a ‘merry’ friend.”
4. Why did the lesbian dread Christmas caroling? Because every time she sang “fa-la-la-la,” her family responded with “fa-la-la-love boys?”
5. What did the lesbian put in her family’s Christmas stocking? A note saying, “You’re stocking the wrong gender.”
6. Why did the lesbian family have extra candles at Christmas? They wanted to light the way to equal love.
7. How do lesbian couples come out during the holidays? They ask Santa for a double-sized mistletoe.
8. Why did the lesbian refuse her uncle’s Christmas gift of a boyfriend sweater? Because she’s only interested in girlfriend scarves.
9. What’s a lesbian’s favorite Christmas miracle? Their parents finally understand their partner isn’t just a “holiday friend.”
10. What did the lesbian’s Christmas stocking say? “In case Santa needs to know, I love her.”
Lesbian Christmas Love
11. How do lesbian couples decorate the Christmas tree? With equal parts love, rainbows, and a little mistletoe on every branch.
12. What do two lesbians do under the mistletoe? Make Christmas even merrier!
13. Why did the lesbian give her partner a “Best Elf” award? Because she sleighs at being a great girlfriend!
14. How did the lesbian propose on Christmas Eve? She asked her girlfriend, “Wanna make this season even brighter?”
15. Why do lesbians make the best snow angels? They’re experts at leaving their mark.
16. What’s a lesbian’s favorite Christmas tradition? Carving out time to decorate gingerbread cookies together.
17. What’s the difference between a lesbian and a Christmas wreath? Only one goes on the door!
18. What did the lesbian give her girlfriend for Christmas? A sweater with the words, “She’s the real gift.”
19. Why did the lesbian call her girlfriend an ornament? Because she brightens up her life.
20. How do lesbians celebrate Christmas morning? With love, matching pajamas, and strong coffee.
Festive Fun and Santa
21. What’s a lesbian’s Christmas wish for Santa? To stop giving her hints about boys under her mistletoe.
22. Why did Santa bring the lesbian two presents? He wanted to make sure she didn’t have to “share” with a brother.
23. Why do lesbians love Santa Claus? Because he accepts all love, especially when it’s wrapped in rainbow bows.
24. What did the lesbian ask Santa for? A list of girls who’ve been nice this year.
25. Why did the lesbian break up with Santa? He was too jolly with every girl he met.
26. What’s Santa’s advice for a lesbian Christmas? Don’t forget the “claus” in every cause for love!
27. How did the lesbian get Santa’s attention? She sent him a mistletoe selfie with her girlfriend.
28. Why doesn’t Santa check the lesbian’s naughty or nice list? He knows she’s been too busy loving to care.
29. What’s a lesbian’s favorite part of Santa’s list? The line that says “love who you are.”
30. Why does Santa love lesbian weddings at Christmas? He’s a fan of love in every season.
Festive Foods and Family
31. Why did the lesbian bring her girlfriend to the family Christmas dinner? To show everyone what “taste” really looks like.
32. What’s a lesbian’s favorite Christmas dinner dish? Girl-lashed potatoes.
33. Why did the lesbian refuse her mom’s Christmas ham? Because she’s vegetarian — in more ways than one.
34. How do lesbians make holiday pies? With a sprinkle of sweetness and a dash of pride.
35. What’s a lesbian’s secret to perfect gingerbread houses? She builds them with her girlfriend — double the hands, double the love.
36. Why did the lesbian bring tofu to Christmas dinner? Because the ham didn’t have enough girl power.
37. Why did the lesbian ask for kitchen supplies for Christmas? Because nothing says love like cooking together.
38. What’s the lesbian Christmas motto? A little pie, a lot of pride.
39. Why did the lesbian have a vegan roast at Christmas? She wanted a cruelty-free holiday — and a side of sass.
40. What’s a lesbian’s favorite holiday drink? The only eggnog with a hint of equality.
Winter Wonderland and Holiday Traditions
41. How do lesbians make snow angels? Together — because one wing never does the job.
42. What’s a lesbian’s favorite part of building a snowman? Giving it rainbow buttons and pride scarves.
43. Why do lesbians love winter? Because there’s nothing cozier than layering up with love.
Conclusion
The holiday season brings many opportunities to share laughter, love, and lighthearted moments. These lesbian Christmas jokes are sure to spark joy, humor, and maybe even a few new traditions for those celebrating with LGBTQ+ friends and family. Here’s to spreading love, laughter, and a joyful sense of belonging this holiday season. Let the spirit of love be present in all your festivities!
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