The holiday season is synonymous with joy, family gatherings, and, of course, plenty of festive beverages. Whether you’re enjoying a spiced mulled wine, a glass of eggnog, or a classic Christmas cocktail, there’s always room for a little humor. Christmas alcohol jokes bring an added layer of fun to the holiday spirit, perfect for livening up any Christmas party or family get-together. In this article, we’ve compiled 42 Christmas-themed alcohol jokes that will have you laughing into the new year. These jokes are a perfect addition to your holiday conversations, helping to break the ice or give everyone a good laugh after a long day of Christmas shopping or cooking. So grab your favorite holiday drink and enjoy these merry, boozy jokes!
1. Why did the bartender break up with the wine?
Because it was always too corky!
2. What do you call a snowman who loves wine?
A chilled Chardonnay.
3. Why did the Christmas tree go to the bar?
To get a little tinsel on the side.
4. What did Santa say when he spilled his beer?
“Ho, ho, ho, that’s gonna leave a mark!”
5. Why don’t elves drink at the office Christmas party?
They’re afraid of getting sloshed and causing a toy-tastrophe.
6. What do you get when you cross a snowman with whiskey?
Frostbite!
7. What’s the best way to spread Christmas cheer?
Drinking eggnog, of course—then singing it loud for all to hear!
8. Why did the gingerbread man get kicked out of the bar?
Because he kept crumbling under pressure.
9. What’s the difference between a Christmas cocktail and a Christmas tree?
The cocktail has more spirit!
10. What did the eggnog say to the whiskey?
“Let’s make this a holiday to remember!”
11. How does a Christmas tree drink its whiskey?
Straight, no chaser.
12. What did one glass of wine say to the other?
“Let’s get a little vine tonight!”
13. Why was Santa so good at karaoke?
Because he had a lot of soul-stice.
14. What do you call a jolly drink at Christmas?
A “merry”-garita.
15. Why did Rudolph bring a flask to the reindeer games?
He needed a little liquid courage to guide the sleigh.
16. Why don’t Christmas lights ever drink?
They don’t want to get too “lit” and cause a blackout.
17. What did the wine bottle say when it was shaken?
“I’m ready to pop the cork and party!”
18. How do you know when you’ve had too much eggnog?
When you start decking the halls with all your decorations—again.
19. What did the bartender say to Santa?
“Can I get you anything, or do you just want to sleigh it?”
20. Why was the whiskey afraid to go to the Christmas party?
It heard the eggnog was too “hard” to handle.
21. What’s Santa’s favorite type of drink?
A “snow”-ball cocktail.
22. Why do Christmas drinks never get cold?
Because they’re always served with a little warmth from the holiday spirit.
23. What’s Santa’s favorite cocktail?
A “Jingle Bellini,” of course!
24. Why do Christmas parties always need more alcohol?
Because the holiday cheer doesn’t pour itself.
25. What do you call a Christmas drink served in a small glass?
A “Santa-sized” shot.
26. Why is Christmas punch always so happy?
It’s always full of spirits.
27. How did the Christmas cocktail feel after too many drinks?
A little slushy.
28. Why didn’t the wine bottle join the Christmas choir?
It didn’t want to be “corked” up.
29. What did the mistletoe say to the wine glass?
“Let’s share a kiss… and a sip!”
30. Why did the bartender refuse to serve Santa a drink?
Because he was already on the “naughty” list.
31. What do you call a Christmas drink that’s always on time?
A “punctual” punch.
32. Why was the Christmas whiskey always the life of the party?
Because it could rock the house.
33. What’s a reindeer’s favorite alcoholic drink?
A Dasher-daiquiri.
34. Why did the Christmas party end early?
Because the punch was “spiked” a little too much.
35. How did Santa prepare for his Christmas feast?
He ordered a bottle of liquid joy.
36. What does Santa put in his coffee at breakfast?
A shot of Christmas cheer.
37. Why is the Christmas cocktail never late to the party?
Because it’s always “on the rocks.”
38. What’s the best drink for a Christmas toast?
Anything with a little “sparkle”—just like the holiday season.
39. How did the reindeer feel about Christmas spirits?
They were absolutely blitzened!
40. Why do Christmas parties never run out of alcohol?
Because there’s always a snowstorm of drinks waiting.
41. What’s a snowman’s go-to Christmas drink?
A Frosty Martini.
42. Why is the Christmas wine always so good?
Because it’s been aged to perfection—just like the season.
Conclusion
Christmas is the time of year when everyone gathers together to celebrate, share joy, and of course, enjoy some festive drinks. These 42 Christmas alcohol jokes are perfect for spicing up any holiday gathering or lightening the mood after a long day of family festivities. Whether you’re sipping on a hot toddy or enjoying a classic eggnog, these jokes are guaranteed to bring out the laughter in anyone, no matter how many drinks they’ve had. So this holiday season, raise your glass, share a laugh, and toast to the magic of Christmas—and to the humor that makes the season even brighter. Cheers to a merry, boozy, and laughter-filled Christmas!
Related Topics
45 Dry Christmas Jokes to Keep the Holidays Lighthearted