Thanksgiving is a time for gratitude, family, and delicious food. However, it can also bring a mix of chaos, stress, and quirky moments that make it memorable. Whether it’s the endless cooking, navigating tricky family conversations, or figuring out how to politely decline Aunt Sue’s questionable casserole, Thanksgiving has plenty of survival moments. To help you laugh through the season, here’s a collection of 46 unique Thanksgiving survival jokes, guaranteed to bring humor to your holiday.
The Turkey Troubles
1. Why did the turkey sit at the kids’ table?
It didn’t want to be roasted by the adults!
2. What do you call a turkey that’s bad at survival?
A gobble-goof!
3. Why didn’t the turkey bring dessert?
It was already stuffed.
4. How did the turkey get promoted?
It had excellent peck-formance reviews.
5. Why was the turkey wearing running shoes?
It was getting ready for the “Thanksgiving Dash”!
6. What’s a turkey’s favorite board game?
Squabble.
7. Why don’t turkeys trust the chef?
They’ve seen too many carving knives.
8. What’s a turkey’s favorite gym workout?
Planksgiving.
9. Why did the turkey become a comedian?
It had great comedic timing—gobble, gobble, pause!
10. Why did the turkey avoid selfies?
It didn’t want to be cropped out of the frame.
Feast Fiascos
11. What did the mashed potatoes say to the gravy?
“You’re dripping all over my vibe!”
12. Why did the cranberry sauce break up with the stuffing?
It felt smothered.
13. How do you win at Thanksgiving dinner?
Be the first to claim the comfy couch.
14. Why did the pie go to the doctor?
It was feeling crusty.
15. What’s a sweet potato’s favorite song?
“All About That Base (And Marshmallow Topping).”
16. How do you stop the gravy from running?
Put it on a “sauce arrest”!
17. Why did the bread rolls feel left out?
No one buttered them up.
18. What’s the stuffing’s biggest fear?
Becoming the “silent filler.”
19. Why don’t green beans ever gossip?
They don’t want to spill the beans.
20. What’s a chef’s secret Thanksgiving weapon?
The whisk-taker.
Family Antics
21. Why did Uncle Joe bring a ladder to Thanksgiving dinner?
He wanted to reach new levels of awkward conversation.
22. What do you call a family argument during Thanksgiving?
A feast fight.
23. Why did the cousins refuse to play Monopoly?
They didn’t want to pass “go” to dessert jail.
24. What’s Grandma’s superpower?
Turning leftovers into gourmet meals.
25. Why did the siblings form a Thanksgiving truce?
To save their energy for Black Friday battles.
26. What’s a toddler’s role at Thanksgiving?
“Crumb distributor.”
27. Why did Aunt Sue bring a megaphone?
To ensure her casserole recipe was heard by everyone.
28. What’s the funniest part of family photos?
Watching Dad try to set up the timer.
29. Why do family debates start at dessert?
Because sugar fuels the passion.
30. What do kids call Thanksgiving dinner?
A “grown-up food marathon.”
Travel Tribulations
31. Why did the turkey refuse to fly for Thanksgiving?
It wasn’t willing to pay for extra luggage.
32. How do you navigate Thanksgiving traffic?
By stuffing yourself with patience.
33. What’s the best way to avoid airport delays on Thanksgiving?
Pretend you’re the turkey—no one will come near you!
34. Why did the GPS go on strike?
It was tired of recalculating for detours.
35. What’s a Thanksgiving traveler’s favorite snack?
Trail stuffing.
36. How do you survive a long road trip to Grandma’s?
Turn the car into a “laughing lane.”
37. Why did the plane smell like a pumpkin pie?
Someone snuck on a scented candle!
38. What do you call a Thanksgiving train ride?
A gravy train adventure.
39. Why don’t turkeys like road trips?
They’re always asked, “Are we there yet?”
40. How do you keep kids quiet on Thanksgiving drives?
Tell them the winner gets extra pie.
Black Friday Anticipation
41. Why did the turkey join the Black Friday crowd?
To gobble up the deals.
42. How do you survive the Black Friday rush?
Be the first to spot the gravy deals!
43. What’s the best Black Friday strategy?
Shop till you plop on leftover turkey.
44. Why did the cranberry sauce join the sale?
It wanted to be jam-packed with savings.
45. What do you call a shopper in turkey pajamas?
A “door-buster bird.”
46. Why don’t stuffing and sales mix?
Because you’ll always feel stuffed after shopping!
Conclusion
Thanksgiving is a whirlwind of food, family, and sometimes chaos, but laughter is the perfect remedy for holiday stress. Whether you’re dodging travel delays, mastering the art of pie-making, or braving the Black Friday crowds, these 46 unique Thanksgiving survival jokes remind us that humor can make any challenge more bearable. As you gather around the table this year, don’t forget to share a joke or two—it’s a great way to make memories and keep the holiday spirit alive. Happy Thanksgiving!
Related Topics
45 Account Turkey Jokes Make You Happy