In the vast landscape of comedy, few subjects have been as enduring as jokes about alcohol and drunkenness. From stand-up routines to classic sitcoms, references to inebriation have long been a staple of comedic expression. However, the evolution of society’s attitudes towards alcohol and its portrayal in media have led to a shift in how these jokes are perceived. In this article, we delve into the history, impact, and changing nature of drunk jokes, exploring their journey from raucous laughter to nuanced reflection.
Light-Hearted Drunk Jokes
1. What do you call a drunk guy trying to start his car?
A lyft. Friends don’t let friends drive drunk.
2. How do you get 100 drunk and rowdy Canadians out of a pool?
You say “Please get out of the pool.”
3. Do you know that a lion would never drive while drunk?
But a tiger wood.
4. What’s a funny drunk pick up line?
“Damn girl, are you a parked car? Because I would have to be drunk as f*ck to hit that.
5. Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Olive.
(Olive who?)
I love you too, but we should talk about this when you don’t sound so drunk.
6. You’re riding a horse full speed. There’s a giraffe next to you and a lion chasing you, what do you do?
Get your drunk a$$ off the carousel.
7. Did you hear about the drunkard who told himself he need to stop drinking so much?
But he thought, “I’m not about to start listening to some drunk weirdo that talks to himself.”
8. Why are ghosts always drunk?
They’re full of booooooos.
9. A drunk German is urinating on a bush
An American walks by and sees what the German is doing and says, “Gross!”
The German says, “Danke!”
10. How does a computer get drunk?
It takes screenshots.
11. What do you call a crab that walks in a straight line?
Drunk.
12. Yo mama so drunk, she’d clung to the grass to keep herself from falling off the earth.
13. Did you hear about the neighbor who got drunk last night and threw up in the elevator?
It was disgusting on so many levels.
14. What do vampires drink to get drunk?
Bloodweiser.
15. A drunk guy is showing friends his new apartment.
The last stop is the bedroom, where a big brass gong sits next to the bed.
“What’s that gong for?” the friend asks him.
“It’s not a gong,” the drunk replies. “It’s a talking clock.”
“How does it work?”
The guy picks up a hammer, gives the gong an ear-shattering pound, and steps back.
Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screams, “For God’s sake, you asshole…it’s 3:30 in the god damn morning!”
16. How do you tell drunk drivers from stoned drivers?
Drunk drivers run stop signs. Stoned drivers stop and wait for them to turn green.
17. Did you hear about the wife who said she wanted to be treated like a princess?
So the husband got drunk and drove through a tunnel.
18. What do a marine biologist and a drunk girl have in common?
They’re both worried about the seal!
19. What do you call a drunk belt?
Waisted.
20. Three drunk guys get into a taxi.
The driver knew they were drunk. He turned the engine on and quickly turned it back off. He said, “We’ve arrived.”
The 1st drunk pays the driver, the 2nd drunk thanked him, and the 3rd drunk slapped him. He thought the 3rd drunk knew what he did, but he asked anyway “What was that for?”
“Control your speed next time! You nearly killed us!”
21. How many beers does it take to get a German scientist drunk?
Ein stein.
22. Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Philip.
(Philip who?)
Philip up my glass I’m thirsty!
23. What do you call an argument between two drunks after last call?
A spirited debate.
24. Yo mama so drunk, the bartender told her she’s had enough before she could buy a drink.
25. Where do sheep get drunk in Boston?
At the baaaaa.
26. Mom: Why don’t you talk to Ethan anymore, you used to be best friends?
Son: Well, would you be friends with someone who was stupid, took drugs, and was drunk all the time?
Mom: No, Never!
Son: Well neither would he!
27. Why do artists rarely get drunk?
They know when to draw the line.
28. What drink gets a plant drunk?
Root beer.
29. A drunk in a bar is yelling “All lawyers are thieves”
The guy sitting next to him says, “Whoa, easy there buddy.”
The drunk says, “Are you a lawyer?”
“No, I’m a thief,” says the guy.
30. What do you tell a drunk man if he asks, “Is life worth living?”
“Well, it depends on the liver.”
31. Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Kerry.
(Kerry who?)
Kerry me home, I’m too drunk to walk.
32. What do you call somebody that has drunk too much whisky?
Johnnie Stumbler.
33. Did you know that when you’re drinking beer, the beer is also getting drunk?
Think about it!
34. One night, a man came home really drunk and his wife wasn’t happy at all.
“How much have you had to drink?” she asked sternly, staring at him.
“Nothing,” he slurred. “Look at me!” she shouted. “It’s either me or the pub, which one is it?”
The husband paused for a second while he thought and mumbled, “It’s you. I can tell by the voice.”
35. What do you call a drunk astronaut?
Buzzed Litebeer.
36. A cop pulls a guy over for suspected drunk driving.
The cop opens the door and the driver falls out onto the asphalt. The cop says, “Holy sh*t, you’re so drunk, you can’t even walk!”
The drunk says “No sh*t, that’s why I took my car!”
37. Why are huskies always drunk?
Because whine runs in their blood!
38. Why did the drunk Mexican kick his girlfriend off a cliff?
Tequila.
39. At the bar the other night when the bartender yelled out, “Does anyone here know CPR?”
John was feeling pretty good so I yelled back, “I do, in fact, I know the whole alphabet!” Everybody in the entire bar laughed except
Conclusion
In conclusion, drunk jokes occupy a unique and sometimes controversial space in the world of comedy. While they have evolved alongside changing societal attitudes towards alcohol, their impact remains subject to interpretation. As comedians, it is our responsibility to approach these jokes with sensitivity and awareness, recognizing the power of humor to both entertain and enlighten. So let us raise a glass to laughter, but always with a mindful eye towards the consequences of our words. Cheers!