Dad jokes have a special place in the world of humor. Simple, pun-filled, and often groan-inducing, they deliver a unique charm. For dads who love shopping online, the theme of Amazon—one of the world’s largest e-commerce platforms—provides endless possibilities for witty one-liners. Whether you’re waiting for your next Prime delivery or reminiscing about your last online shopping spree, Amazon-themed dad jokes are sure to lighten the mood. So, buckle up, grab your virtual shopping cart, and enjoy these 40 Amazon dad jokes. They’re guaranteed to deliver a laugh—no two-day shipping required!
Jokes About Amazon Shopping
1. I ordered a book on how to scam people on Amazon…
But it never arrived, and now I get the feeling I’ve been scammed.
2. My wife says I spend too much on Amazon.
I told her it was worth it—I bought myself the ability to never leave the house.
3. I bought a ladder from Amazon.
The reviews said it was a step up from the competition!
4. I tried to order an invisible cloak from Amazon, but…
I couldn’t see any in stock.
5. I asked Amazon to send me something to help me with procrastination.
They said it’ll be here tomorrow. Or the day after.
6. I bought a belt on Amazon, but it didn’t fit.
Guess I’ll have to waist a little more time figuring it out.
Jokes About Amazon Prime
7. Amazon Prime Day is like Black Friday, but for people…
Who are too impatient to wait until November.
8. I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday.
She said, “Surprise me.” So I ordered something random on Amazon Prime.
9. I told my kids I’d let them sign up for Amazon Prime.
They said, “Finally, something in this house with fast delivery!”
10. I tried to watch a documentary about Amazon Prime trucks.
But it didn’t go anywhere. Too many stops.
11. My friend told me I’d love Amazon Prime movies.
I said, “What can I say? I’m already a sucker for free shipping!”
See Also: 39 Bedtime Dad Jokes To Scroll Through At Night
Jokes About Amazon Packages
12. Every time I see an Amazon package at the door…
I wonder what past-me bought for future-me!
13. My neighbor asked me why I have so many Amazon boxes.
I told him, “It’s the packing material I’m really after.”
14. My dog loves Amazon deliveries.
He thinks every package is a new chew toy… for me!
15. I ordered a box of batteries from Amazon.
They arrived charged with excitement!
16. My wife always asks why I have so many unopened Amazon packages.
I tell her I’m just saving them for a rainy day.
17. I once got an Amazon package so fast…
I thought the delivery guy was waiting in my garage.
Jokes About Alexa and Amazon Devices
18. I asked Alexa to make me a sandwich.
She replied, “Sorry, I can’t do that—but I can order one on Amazon!”
19. Alexa told me a joke the other day.
I laughed, but deep down I knew she just ordered it from Amazon.
20. My dad tried to have a conversation with Alexa.
Now she just ignores him—just like the rest of the family.
21. I told Alexa I needed more storage for my Amazon purchases.
She said, “How about a warehouse?”
22. I asked Alexa to turn off the lights, but she didn’t.
Turns out, she ordered a light switch on Amazon instead.
23. My kid asked Alexa, “Why is Dad always shopping on Amazon?”
Alexa responded, “Because he has an addiction to Prime.”
Jokes About Amazon Products
24. I bought a chicken coop on Amazon.
Now my eggs are literally delivered to my door.
25. I ordered a pizza cutter on Amazon.
But it wasn’t a slice of what I was expecting.
26. I bought a fire extinguisher from Amazon.
Came with instructions: “Use only if you can handle the heat!”
27. I ordered a tent on Amazon.
My camping trip was intense… because I didn’t know how to set it up.
28. I bought a clock on Amazon to help me manage time better.
Now I’m just counting down the days until my next purchase.
Jokes About Amazon Reviews
29. I left a 5-star review on my Amazon order for a parachute.
I hope it helps someone in the future.
30. I bought a hammer on Amazon and left a review.
“Great product, nailed it!”
31. I ordered a book called “How to Be Confident” on Amazon.
The first review was, “I wasn’t sure about this one, but I gave it a try!”
32. I bought an air conditioner on Amazon.
The review said it blew me away—and it literally did!
33. I ordered a jar of peanut butter from Amazon.
The review said it’s perfect for people who can’t handle the nuts in life.
Jokes About Amazon’s Reach
34. Amazon delivers to so many places…
I’m starting to think they’ll ship to Mars before NASA does.
35. I asked Amazon if they could deliver to the moon.
They said, “Only if it’s Prime.”
36. I heard Amazon’s expanding into space.
Guess soon we’ll be able to order a black hole for storage.
37. I tried to order a telescope on Amazon.
But all I got was a better view of my ever-growing credit card bill.
Jokes About Amazon Customer Service
38. I called Amazon customer service to complain about my delivery.
They put me on hold and said, “Wait, are you sure it’s not already at your door?”
39. I asked Amazon’s customer service if they could deliver my patience faster.
They said they’re working on it—should arrive in 2 to 3 business days.
40. I had an issue with my Amazon order.
Their customer service was so quick, they resolved the problem before I even had one.
Conclusion
Whether you’re a seasoned online shopper or new to the world of Amazon Prime, there’s no denying that the experience of clicking “Add to Cart” comes with a fair share of humorous moments. These Amazon-themed dad jokes capture the lighter side of our online shopping adventures, from quirky deliveries to odd product reviews. The next time you’re waiting for that package to arrive or asking Alexa to play your favorite song, remember to smile—and maybe even share a joke or two! Laughter, after all, is the best thing you can order without free shipping.