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38 Tasteless Dad Jokes That Will Make You Groan

by Hazel

Dad jokes—love them or hate them—are a special breed of humor. They are often cringe-worthy, predictable, and leave you rolling your eyes rather than clutching your stomach in laughter. But their charm lies in their simplicity and innocent silliness. Tasteless dad jokes, while not offensive, push the boundaries of humor, riding the fine line between a chuckle and a groan. Whether you’re looking to lighten the mood or simply torment your loved ones with bad jokes, this collection of tasteless dad jokes has you covered. Get ready for 38 jokes that will make you shake your head but maybe, just maybe, make you laugh!

1. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts.

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2. Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two-tired.

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3. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese.

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4. Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay?
Because then they’d be bagels.

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5. What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

6. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite.

7. Why was the math book sad?
It had too many problems.

8. How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together.

9. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent.

10. Why was the big cat disqualified from the race?
Because it was a cheetah.

11. Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
They’d crack each other up.

12. How does a cow stay up to date?
It reads the moos-paper.

13. Why did the coffee file a police report?
It got mugged.

14. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.

15. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.

See Also: 36 Hilarious Hawaiian Dad Jokes to Brighten Your Day

16. How do you organize a space party?
You planet.

17. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.

18. What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.

19. How does a train eat?
It choo-choos.

20. Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don’t work out.

21. What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, they just waved.

22. Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer?
She kept running away from the ball.

23. Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing.

24. How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.

25. Why don’t crabs give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish.

26. What’s Forrest Gump’s password?
1Forrest1.

27. How does a vampire start a letter?
Tomb it may concern.

28. Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.

29. What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
Bison.

30. Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have no body to go with.

31. What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta.

32. Why don’t oysters share their pearls?
Because they’re shellfish.

33. What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
Sneakers.

34. How do you catch a squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a nut.

35. Why don’t ants get sick?
Because they have tiny ant-bodies.

36. What do you call a factory that makes good products?
A satisfactory.

37. Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because it felt crummy.

38. How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it.

Conclusion

Dad jokes, especially those that push the boundaries of taste, have a unique ability to make us cringe, laugh, and groan all at the same time. They are the verbal equivalent of a wink and a nudge, knowing full well that the humor is silly but delivering it with full dad confidence nonetheless. Armed with this collection of 38 tasteless dad jokes, you’re ready to be the life of the next family gathering or make someone roll their eyes with a chuckle. At the end of the day, humor is about sharing a smile—even if it’s one of exasperation!

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