The Christmas season is a time of joy, laughter, and togetherness, and who better to bring a smile to your face than Little Johnny? Known for his witty and mischievous nature, Little Johnny is a classic character in many jokes that have entertained families for generations. This year, we’re adding a holiday twist to his usual antics, with 43 unique and hilarious Christmas-themed jokes featuring our favorite troublemaker. Whether you’re looking for something to share at a family gathering or simply want to laugh out loud, these jokes are sure to bring some extra cheer to your holiday season. So, grab a hot cup of cocoa, settle in by the fireplace, and let Little Johnny’s Christmas jokes brighten your day.
Little Johnny’s Christmas Tree
1. Little Johnny: “Mom, can we have a Christmas tree?”
Mom: “We already have one in the garden, Johnny.”
Little Johnny: “Yeah, but I thought it might be lonely, can we get it a friend?”
2. Teacher: “Johnny, what is the shape of the Earth?”
Little Johnny: “It’s round, like a Christmas ornament!”
3. Dad: “Johnny, why are you putting the Christmas tree on your bike?”
Little Johnny: “Because I want to pedal-pine through the neighborhood!”
Little Johnny’s Christmas Gifts
4. Little Johnny: “Mom, do you think Santa wraps gifts for himself?”
Mom: “No, Johnny, why?”
Little Johnny: “Because I found his gift under the bed, and it wasn’t wrapped.”
5. Santa: “What would you like for Christmas, Johnny?”
Little Johnny: “A big box of batteries.”
Santa: “Why batteries?”
Little Johnny: “Because I’m tired of getting toys with a ‘batteries not included’ note!”
6. Teacher: “Johnny, what did you give your mom for Christmas?”
Little Johnny: “Nothing. She said she only wanted my good behavior, so I took a break this year.”
7. Dad: “Johnny, what’s on your Christmas list?”
Little Johnny: “An eraser.”
Dad: “Why an eraser?”
Little Johnny: “To erase last year’s homework and start fresh!”
8. Grandma: “Johnny, what do you want for Christmas this year?”
Little Johnny: “A calendar.”
Grandma: “A calendar? Why?”
Little Johnny: “So I can count down to next Christmas already!”
Little Johnny’s Letters to Santa
9. Little Johnny wrote a letter to Santa: “Dear Santa, can you bring me a dictionary for Christmas? Because last year you got me a ‘mystery present,’ and I still don’t know what it is.”
10. Mom: “Johnny, did you write your letter to Santa?”
Little Johnny: “Yes, but I added a disclaimer that I won’t accept coal. Fair warning!”
11. Little Johnny: “Mom, if Santa is always watching, does that mean he’s a stalker?”
Mom: “Johnny!”
12. Teacher: “Johnny, why didn’t you write a letter to Santa?”
Little Johnny: “Because if he’s watching me all the time, he should already know what I want!”
Little Johnny at Christmas Dinner
13. Little Johnny: “Why do we eat turkey at Christmas?”
Mom: “Because it’s tradition.”
Little Johnny: “Well, can we start a new tradition with pizza?”
14. Dad: “Johnny, what’s your favorite part of Christmas dinner?”
Little Johnny: “The dessert… and the part where I don’t have to eat Brussels sprouts.”
15. Grandma: “Johnny, do you want some Christmas pudding?”
Little Johnny: “No thanks, Grandma, I’m still full from avoiding the vegetables.”
16. Mom: “Johnny, why aren’t you eating the gingerbread cookies I baked?”
Little Johnny: “Because I’m waiting for Santa to eat them first to see if they’re safe!”
Little Johnny’s Christmas School Moments
17. Teacher: “Johnny, what’s the most important thing about Christmas?”
Little Johnny: “That I have two weeks off from school!”
18. Principal: “Johnny, why are you dressed as Santa in the middle of class?”
Little Johnny: “I’m just getting into the holiday spirit. Ho Ho Homework-free!”
19. Teacher: “Johnny, if you keep this up, you’ll be on the naughty list.”
Little Johnny: “Great! I hear Santa’s list has all the best kids!”
20. Little Johnny: “Do we have school on Christmas?”
Teacher: “No, Johnny.”
Little Johnny: “Good, because I wasn’t planning to attend anyway.”
See Also: 46 Christmas Quacker Jokes
Little Johnny’s Snowy Adventures
21. Little Johnny: “Mom, why don’t we build a snowman this year?”
Mom: “Because there’s no snow, Johnny.”
Little Johnny: “Then can we build a sandman?”
22. Dad: “Johnny, why did you throw a snowball at the neighbor’s car?”
Little Johnny: “I was just testing the air conditioning!”
23. Little Johnny: “If snowmen come to life, do snowwomen get jealous?”
24. Neighbor: “Johnny, why did you make that snowman so big?”
Little Johnny: “Because Santa needs a bodyguard!”
25. Little Johnny: “Mom, do you think snowmen can have snowball fights?”
Mom: “Only if they’re in the mood for a meltdown!”
Little Johnny’s Christmas Eve
26. Little Johnny: “Mom, if Santa delivers presents to everyone in one night, does that mean he’s faster than light?”
Mom: “I think he uses some holiday magic, Johnny.”
27. Little Johnny: “Why don’t we leave a note for Santa this year?”
Dad: “Why a note?”
Little Johnny: “So he knows I’ve been good… mostly.”
28. Little Johnny: “If Santa leaves the North Pole, who looks after the reindeer?”
Dad: “Maybe the elves.”
Little Johnny: “Or do they get a Christmas break too?”
Little Johnny’s Christmas Decorations
29. Little Johnny: “Why do we hang stockings by the fireplace?”
Dad: “For Santa to fill with presents.”
Little Johnny: “Or socks. I bet he’s tired of seeing bare feet all the time!”
30. Mom: “Johnny, why is there tinsel in your room?”
Little Johnny: “Because the tree looks better with it, so I thought my room would too!”
31. Little Johnny: “Dad, why does the Christmas tree have lights?”
Dad: “To brighten up the room.”
Little Johnny: “I thought it was to make sure Santa didn’t trip over the presents!”
Little Johnny’s Christmas Carols
32. Teacher: “Johnny, do you know any Christmas carols?”
Little Johnny: “Sure! ‘We wish you a merry pizza and a happy new meal!’”
33. Little Johnny: “Mom, do you think Santa sings Christmas carols in his sleigh?”
Mom: “Why do you ask?”
Little Johnny: “Because I’m pretty sure his reindeer have heard ‘Jingle Bells’ enough by now.”
34. Dad: “Johnny, what’s your favorite Christmas song?”
Little Johnny: “The one where I don’t have to sing.”
Little Johnny’s Christmas Shopping
35. Little Johnny: “Mom, why is Christmas shopping so stressful?”
Mom: “Because everyone wants to find the perfect gift.”
Little Johnny: “I think the perfect gift is not shopping at all!”
36. Little Johnny: “Why don’t we get Santa a gift this year?”
Dad: “What do you think he’d like?”
Little Johnny: “A vacation. He works every Christmas!”
37. Little Johnny: “Can we shop for Christmas presents online this year?”
Mom: “Why?”
Little Johnny: “Because I’ve been on the naughty list in all the stores!”
Little Johnny’s Christmas Countdown
38. Little Johnny: “Mom, how many days until Christmas?”
Mom: “Johnny, you ask that every day.”
Little Johnny: “I just want to make sure Santa doesn’t forget!”
39. Little Johnny: “Can we open presents on Christmas Eve?”
Dad: “No, we wait until Christmas morning.”
Little Johnny: “But what if Santa doesn’t show up? I want to be prepared!”
40. Mom: “Johnny, it’s Christmas Eve. Time for bed.”
Little Johnny: “I’ll sleep tomorrow. I have to catch Santa tonight!”
Little Johnny’s Christmas Wish
41. Little Johnny: “Mom, can I wish for something other than toys this Christmas?”
Mom: “Of course, Johnny. What would you like?”
Little Johnny: “A lifetime supply of cookies!”
42. Little Johnny: “Dad, do you think Santa grants wishes?”
Dad: “He brings gifts, Johnny.”
Little Johnny: “Then I wish for no more broccoli!”
43. Teacher: “Johnny, what’s your Christmas wish?”
Little Johnny: “That every day could be Christmas… minus the homework!”
Conclusion
Little Johnny’s antics are never far from a good laugh, especially during the holiday season. His curiosity, wit, and playful attitude make him the perfect companion for sharing in the Christmas spirit. These 43 Little Johnny Christmas jokes are a great way to bring humor into your holiday celebrations, whether you’re with family, friends, or just need a moment of laughter yourself. After all, Christmas is a time for joy, and nothing spreads joy quite like a good laugh.
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