In the world of dad jokes, there’s a certain charm to their simplicity, and Barnes & Noble has long been a repository of literary treasures—everything from serious tomes to lighthearted reads. In keeping with the spirit of fun and humor, dad jokes have become a staple of the store’s offerings, especially within gift sections and funny books. These light-hearted quips often embrace the pun-filled, dry wit that makes them so endearing. Here, we’ve compiled 47 of the finest dad jokes that you might stumble upon while perusing a Barnes & Noble book section or just enjoying a coffee in their café. These jokes are timeless, non-offensive, and guaranteed to get an eye roll from your kids—or a hearty laugh from the family. So without further ado, here are 47 Barnes & noble dad jokes that you can share with friends and family, perfect for any bookstore visit.
1. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
2. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
3. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
4. I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
5. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They might crack up.
6. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
7. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
8. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
9. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
10. Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
11. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.
12. What do you call a pile of cats? A meow-tain.
13. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent.
14. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
15. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
16. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
17. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
18. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
19. What did one hat say to the other? Stay here, I’m going on ahead.
20. I asked my wife to let me know when she finished ironing. She said, “I’m pressing charges.”
21. I would tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
22. I’m afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.
23. I couldn’t figure out how to put my seatbelt on. Then it clicked.
24. I told my computer I needed a break, and now it’s frozen.
25. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
26. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
27. Why don’t skeletons ever use cell phones? Because they don’t have the guts.
28. What do you call a factory that makes good products? A satisfactory.
29. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
30. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
31. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
32. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
33. Why do we never tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
34. What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Nothing but let out a little wine.
35. Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus.
36. How does a snowman get around? By riding an “icicle.”
37. Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
38. Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
39. I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
40. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
41. I can’t trust people who do acupuncture. They’re back stabbers.
42. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks.
43. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
44. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
45. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
46. Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants.
47. Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
Conclusion
Dad jokes have become more than just a passing trend. They are a timeless genre of humor that continues to elicit groans and giggles alike. Whether shared by a proud parent, a bookstore employee, or anyone looking to brighten the day, these jokes are the perfect way to bring a smile to anyone’s face. So the next time you find yourself in a Barnes & Noble, stop by the humor section, grab a book full of dad jokes, and let the laughs begin. You might not find all 47 of these specific jokes, but you’ll certainly discover many more clever one-liners that are bound to make you chuckle.
Related Topics
45 Sad Dad Jokes to Brighten Your Day