Christmas is a time for laughter, and sometimes the crappiest jokes can bring the biggest smiles. These 45 crap Christmas jokes are not going to win any awards for sophistication, but they will surely make you groan and chuckle at the same time. They are the kind of jokes that are so bad, they’re good. Perfect for those lighthearted moments during the holiday season when you just want to let loose and have a bit of silly fun. So, brace yourself for a barrage of corny and ridiculous Christmas humor.
1. What do you call Santa when he has no money? Saint Broke.
2. Why was the Christmas tree so bad at dancing? Because it had two left branches.
3. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a shark? Frostbite and a lot of scared fish.
4. Why did the elf get in trouble at school? Because he was caught elfing around.
5. What’s Santa’s favorite type of music? Wrap music.
6. How does Rudolph know when it’s Christmas? His nose starts to glow and he feels a tingle in his antlers.
7. What do you call a group of Christmas carolers stuck in an elevator? A choir in a confined space.
8. Why was the Christmas pudding so grumpy? Because it was always getting steamed.
9. What’s a snowflake’s favorite sport? Ice-skating, because it’s already in the right form.
10. How do you make a Christmas wreath? You start with a lot of ho, ho, hope and some greenery.
11. What did one Christmas light say to the other? “You light up my life, but don’t get too close or we’ll short-circuit.”
12. Why was the gingerbread man so sad? Because he was always getting eaten.
13. What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree and a computer? A pine-puter.
14. How does Santa Claus take pictures? With his North Pole-aroid.
15. What’s a reindeer’s favorite game? Deer-opoly.
16. Why was the Christmas stocking so nervous? Because it was full of anticipation.
17. What do you call a Christmas angel who’s bad at flying? A fallen angel, literally.
18. How do you know if a Christmas joke is too bad? When it makes you roll your eyes and laugh at the same time.
19. What’s a snowman’s favorite food? Iceberg lettuce. But he has to be careful not to melt it.
20. Why did the Christmas turkey get a ticket? It was parked in a no-pecking zone.
21. What do you get when you cross a Christmas ornament and a detective? A bauble sleuth.
22. How does Rudolph get his revenge on the other reindeer? He shines his nose in their eyes when they’re sleeping.
23. What’s Santa’s least favorite Christmas song? “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.”
24. Why was the Christmas card so confused? Because it didn’t know which mailbox to go in.
25. What do you call a Christmas cookie that’s a liar? A fib-bleberry cookie.
26. How do you make a Christmas candle? You pour some wax and add a holiday scent.
27. What’s a reindeer’s favorite type of movie? Action-packed reindeer adventures with lots of explosions.
28. Why was the Christmas present so disappointed? Because it was a pair of socks and not the latest gadget.
29. What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree and a zombie? A tree that wants to eat your brains.
30. How does an edgy Christmas angel get around? On a Harley with wings.
31. What’s a snowman’s idea of a bad day? When the sun comes out and he melts into a puddle of self-pity.
32. Why did the Christmas bell go silent? Because it lost its ringtone.
33. What do you get when you cross a Christmas present and a black hole? A gift that disappears forever.
34. How does Santa Claus stay cool in the summer? He goes to the North Pole sauna.
35. What’s a reindeer’s favorite board game? Deer-chess.
36. Why was the Christmas angel kicked out of heaven? For having a bad attitude and a love for heavy metal music.
37. What do you call a Christmas tree that’s seen it all? A jaded pine.
38. How do you make a Christmas stocking edgy? Fill it with fake spiders and snakes.
39. What’s a snowman’s last words? “I’m melting and I’m pissed about it.”
40. Why did the Christmas light bulb go out in a huff? Because it was sick of being overshadowed by the tinsel.
41. What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree and a magician? A disappearing pine.
42. How does Santa deal with naughty kids? He gives them a piece of his mind and a lump of coal.
43. What’s a reindeer’s worst nightmare? Losing its antlers in a game of reindeer polo.
44. Why was the Christmas tree topper so proud? Because it was at the highest point of the holiday.
45. What do you call a Christmas caroler who can’t sing? A noise-polluter.
Conclusion
These 45 crap Christmas jokes have hopefully added a touch of absurd and cheesy humor to your Christmas season. They may not be the height of comedic genius, but they are a fun and lighthearted way to celebrate the holidays. Share them with friends and family and see who can endure the groans and still manage to laugh. After all, sometimes the worst jokes are the ones that create the most memorable and enjoyable moments. Here’s to a Christmas filled with laughter, even if it’s a bit on the crappy side.
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