Thanksgiving is typically a time of warmth, gratitude, and delicious feasts. But for those with a taste for the darker and more offbeat, these 45 sick Thanksgiving jokes are here to add a strange and macabre twist to the holiday. From the unfortunate fates of turkeys to the oddball traditions and mishaps that might occur around the dinner table, get ready to enter a world of humor that’s not for the faint of heart. Brace yourself for some truly wacky and slightly disturbing takes on this beloved holiday.
1. What do you call a turkey with no legs? A “drumstickless” wonder.
2. Why did the turkey go to the doctor? Because it had a case of “gobble-itis.”
3. What’s a pilgrim’s favorite horror movie? “The Slaughter on Plymouth Rock.”
4. How does a cranberry feel about being made into sauce? It’s a bit “sauced” up and squished, but it’s all part of the Thanksgiving sacrifice.
5. What do you get when you cross a turkey and a vampire? A creature that sucks the gravy instead of blood.
6. Why was the Thanksgiving pudding so scared? Because it heard the chef was going to “plum” it to death.
7. What’s a pilgrim’s least favorite Thanksgiving game? “Pin the Tail on the Turkey” – too close to home.
8. How does a turkey’s ghost haunt the Thanksgiving table? By making the silverware rattle and the gravy go cold.
9. What do you call a group of sick turkeys? The “Fowl Flu Faction.”
10. Why was the Thanksgiving corn so sad? Because it knew it was going to be buttered and devoured.
11. What’s a pilgrim’s worst nightmare? Waking up to find the Indians have taken all the turkey.
12. How does a Thanksgiving angel feel about the holiday? It’s a bit conflicted, as it has to watch all the turkey carnage.
13. What do you get when you cross a Thanksgiving turkey and a chainsaw? A very messy and “fowl” situation.
14. Why did the Thanksgiving bell ring with a spooky tone? Because it was tolling for the turkeys about to meet their doom.
15. What’s a cranberry’s darkest secret? It wishes it could be a cranberry wine instead of just a sauce.
16. How does a pilgrim’s hat feel about Thanksgiving? It’s a bit “worn out” from all the stress of the holiday.
17. What do you call a turkey that can sing? A “gobble-garoo.”
18. Why was the Thanksgiving tablecloth so nervous? Because it was about to be stained with all kinds of food and who knows what else.
19. What’s a pilgrim’s least favorite Thanksgiving chore? Cleaning up the turkey feathers after the “feast of feathers.”
20. How does a turkey’s beak feel about being sharpened? It’s a bit “edgy” about the whole process.
21. What do you get when you cross a Thanksgiving pie and a zombie? A dessert that might come back to haunt you.
22. Why was the Thanksgiving candle melting so fast? Because it was scared of the spooky stories being told.
23. What’s a pilgrim’s favorite horror story? “The Tale of the Cursed Turkey Leg.”
24. How does a Thanksgiving ornament feel about being on the table? It’s a bit “ornamented” with food splatters by the end of the meal.
25. What do you call a turkey that’s been through a lot? A “battle-scarred gobbler.”
26. Why was the Thanksgiving pudding so full of itself? Because it thought it was the “plum” of the meal.
27. What’s a cranberry’s least favorite Thanksgiving activity? Being used as a garnish and then tossed aside.
28. How does a pilgrim’s boot feel about walking in the turkey guts? It’s a bit “squelchy” and gross.
29. What do you call a group of pilgrims with a sick sense of humor? The “Grisly Gatherers.”
30. Why was the Thanksgiving turkey so quiet? Because it knew it was about to be the main course in a “fowl” play.
31. What’s a pilgrim’s favorite type of exercise? Running from the angry turkeys.
32. How does a Thanksgiving stocking feel about being empty? It’s a bit “hollow” and disappointed, like a turkey without stuffing.
33. What do you get when you cross a Thanksgiving present and a vampire? A gift that might give you a fright.
34. Why did the Thanksgiving light string get in trouble? Because it was flickering like a possessed turkey’s eye.
35. What’s a cranberry’s favorite form of revenge? Making people’s teeth turn red when they eat it.
36. How does a pilgrim’s hatchet feel about chopping up the turkey? It’s a bit “bladed” and ready for the task.
37. What do you call a turkey that’s always late? A “tardy tom.”
38. Why was the Thanksgiving wreath so grumpy? Because it was made of dead plants and felt left out of the food fun.
39. What’s a pilgrim’s least favorite Thanksgiving decoration? The turkey carcass that’s left on the table too long.
40. How does a Thanksgiving angel keep its halo clean? With a lot of divine detergent and a little bit of elbow grease, especially after the messy meal.
41. What do you get when you cross a Thanksgiving tree and a werewolf? A tree that howls at the moon and has turkey ornaments.
42. Why was the Thanksgiving candle sobbing? Because it knew its life was about to be snuffed out.
43. What’s a pilgrim’s least favorite Thanksgiving song? “Turkey in the Straw” – too much of a reminder.
44. How does a Thanksgiving ornament remember the holiday? By the strange smells and sounds that surrounded it.
45. What do you call a Thanksgiving turkey that can’t stop growing? A “monster gobbler.”
Conclusion
These 45 sick Thanksgiving jokes have surely taken you on a wild and rather unorthodox ride through the darker corners of the holiday. While they may not be suitable for all audiences, they offer a unique and edgy form of humor that can add a different kind of spice to your Thanksgiving conversations. Share them with those who have a taste for the unusual and see if you can get a few shocked laughs and groans. Here’s to a Thanksgiving that’s not just filled with the usual warmth and cheer, but also a touch of the strange and the sickly in the form of these offbeat jokes.
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