Dad jokes have a unique charm—they’re simple, often cheesy, and always guaranteed to make people cringe, groan, or laugh. These jokes have become an endearing part of popular culture, with their playful puns, easy delivery, and family-friendly humor. Whether they’re told around the dinner table, on road trips, or at family gatherings, dad jokes remain a staple of any dad’s comedic repertoire. While some may be groan-worthy, there’s no denying that these jokes have the power to bring people together in laughter.
In this article, we’ve gathered 47 of the best shit dad jokes that are sure to make you laugh (or cringe). From clever puns to classic one-liners, these jokes will give you the perfect ammunition for any situation. So sit back, relax, and prepare for a dose of humor that’s pure dad-level hilarity.
1. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts.
2. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet.
I don’t know y.
3. What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
Nothing, but it let out a little wine.
4. Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
They’d crack each other up.
5. How do you organize a space party?
You planet.
6. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
7. Why don’t oysters donate to charity?
Because they are shellfish.
8. How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together.
9. What did the big flower say to the little flower?
Hey, bud!
10. What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved.
11. Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many problems.
12. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised.
13. Why don’t skeletons ever fight each other?
They don’t have the heart.
14. What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta.
15. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese.
16. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
17. I used to play piano by ear.
But now I use my hands.
18. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two-tired.
19. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
20. What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?
The living room.
21. Why don’t skeletons ever fight?
They don’t have the stomach for it.
22. What did one hat say to the other?
Stay here, I’m going on ahead!
23. Why did the computer go to the doctor?
Because it had a virus!
24. What did one plate say to the other plate?
Lunch is on me.
25. Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they’re really good at it.
26. What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A nectarine.
27. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
28. Why was the broom late?
It swept in.
29. What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.
30. Why don’t ants ever get sick?
Because they have tiny ant-bodies.
31. How does a cow stay up to date?
By staying on the mooo-ve!
32. I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger.
But then it hit me.
33. What do you call a pile of cats?
A meow-tain.
34. Why don’t skeletons ever use cell phones?
Because they don’t have the nerve!
35. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?
Elephino (pronounced like “I’ll-effin-o”).
36. What did one wall say to the other wall?
I’ll meet you at the corner.
37. What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador.
38. What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament?
Live stream.
39. Why did the coffee file a police report?
It got mugged.
40. Why was the pencil so upset?
Because it had no point.
41. What did one elevator say to the other elevator?
I think I’m coming down with something.
42. What do you call a fish that practices medicine?
A sturgeon.
43. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek?
Because he was always spotted.
44. How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
45. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog?
Frostbite.
46. Why don’t you ever trust stairs?
They’re always up to something.
47. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
Supplies!
Conclusion
Shit dad jokes are timeless gems that bring a lighthearted, fun energy to any gathering. Though they may get eye-rolls and groans, there’s no denying their charm, and they continue to provide laughter across generations. Whether you’re looking to break the ice, make someone smile, or simply entertain, these jokes are always a hit. With a mix of puns, one-liners, and simple humor, these 47 dad jokes prove that sometimes, the simplest jokes are the best. So the next time you’re in need of a laugh, don’t hesitate to bust out one of these classic dad jokes—you never know who might appreciate it (or groan at it!).
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