Dad jokes are the ultimate conversation starters, ice – breakers, and mood – lifters. Whether you’re texting a friend, family member, or just looking to add a bit of humor to your day, these 46 dad jokes are tailor – made for your messaging needs. They’re short, sweet, and guaranteed to bring a smile or an eye – roll (the good kind!) to the recipient. Let’s explore this collection of jokes that are ready to be shared with a simple click.
46 Dad Jokes Perfect for Texts
1. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
2. Why is the doctor so angry? Because he has no patience (patients).
3. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
4. Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re shellfish.
5. What’s the longest word in the dictionary? Smiles. Because there’s a mile between its first and last letters.
6. Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? Because he was outstanding in his field.
7. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
8. I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
9. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
10. Why was the belt arrested? It held up a pair of pants.
11. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
12. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
13. Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?” Because every play has a cast.
14. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
15. How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it.
16. I’m so good at sleeping. I can do it with my eyes closed.
17. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
18. I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
19. Why did the chicken cross the road? To show the possum it could be done.
20. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
21. What’s the worst part about elevator jokes? They work on so many levels.
22. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
23. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
24. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
25. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
26. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
27. I’m reading a book about teleportation. It’s bound to take me places.
28. What’s the best way to watch a fly – fishing tournament? Live stream.
29. Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus.
30. What do you call a snake that works for the government? A civil serpent.
31. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot’s house. Knock, knock. Who’s there? The chicken.
32. What do you call a bear with no ears? B.
33. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
34. I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
35. Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
36. Why was the math book unhappy? Because it had too many problems.
37. What do you call a belt that is a million years old? A dino – sash.
38. Why was the turkey the drummer in the band? Because he had the drum – sticks.
39. What do you call a fish that only cares about itself? Self – fish.
40. What do you call a fake stone in Ireland? A shamrock.
41. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
42. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
43. What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
44. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two – tired.
45. Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
46. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.
Conclusion
These 46 dad jokes are now at your fingertips, ready to be sent in texts and spread joy, laughter, or a good – natured groan. Whether you’re brightening up a dull conversation, sharing a moment of humor with loved ones, or just having fun with words, these jokes are the perfect addition to your texting repertoire. So, go ahead and start sharing these dad jokes, and let the laughter spread one text at a time. Here’s to more humorous exchanges and a world filled with the charm of dad – level humor.
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