Thanksgiving is a time to gather with family and friends, share meals, and give thanks. While the holiday has its traditions, there’s one thing that always brings smiles to the table: humor. Thanksgiving one-liners are perfect for lightening the mood and adding a touch of wit to the feast. For adults, humor can be the perfect conversation starter and keep everyone entertained as they wait for the turkey to be served. Whether you’re sharing a joke with your guests or looking for a funny line to break the ice, these 46 Thanksgiving one-liners are sure to bring some laughs. So, without further ado, let’s dive into these funny, clever, and sometimes slightly sarcastic Thanksgiving one-liners!
46 Thanksgiving One-Liners for Adults to Enjoy
1. Why did the turkey join a band? Because it had the drumsticks.
2. I’m thankful for elastic waistbands this time of year.
3. Thanksgiving: A time to give thanks for all the things we won’t be able to fit into after the meal.
4. I can’t believe it’s Thanksgiving again! I feel like I just left the dinner table last year.
5. I’m grateful for the three F’s: food, family, and football.
6. You know you’ve overdone Thanksgiving when you’ve had too much of everything and none of it is food.
7. Thanksgiving is the one day a year when calories don’t count—until the food coma sets in.
8. I think we should start a new tradition on Thanksgiving: have the turkey roast the people.
9. Thanksgiving dinner is like a full-on workout for my stomach.
10. I tried to come up with a Thanksgiving pun, but I couldn’t think of anything that was stuffing enough.
11. If a turkey is so smart, why is it always the one on the dinner table?
12. May your turkey be moist and your relatives be tolerant.
13. The real reason turkeys don’t fly is that they’ve seen the alternative.
14. I’m really thankful for my kitchen. It’s where all the Thanksgiving miracles happen.
15. Thanksgiving: Where the only thing stuffed more than the turkey is the couch.
16. The best part of Thanksgiving is not the food—it’s all the leftovers!
17. This year I’m thankful for stretchy pants.
18. I don’t need a diet; I just need a Thanksgiving nap.
19. If you can’t be thankful for the food, at least be thankful for the wine.
20. Thanksgiving is when you realize how much food you’ve really been missing—and how much you regret eating all of it.
21. When the turkey goes down, the pants go up.
22. Thanksgiving dinner is the one time of year when you can’t avoid carbs.
23. I’ve never met a turkey I didn’t want to eat for Thanksgiving.
24. Thanksgiving is a time for family, food, and avoiding the inevitable “talking politics” moment.
25. I think Thanksgiving needs a little more fun, so I’m going to bring the desserts this year… and the jokes.
26. You know you’re full when your turkey has more space than you do.
27. What did the stuffing say to the turkey? “I’m in you!”
28. A Thanksgiving without mashed potatoes is like a party without music.
29. I’m not saying I’m a turkey expert, but I do know how to make sure mine never sees the inside of an oven.
30. Why don’t we ever tell secrets at Thanksgiving? Because the potatoes are always mashed.
31. Thanksgiving is all about family… and family is all about the pumpkin pie.
32. I love Thanksgiving—just wish there wasn’t so much waiting for the food.
33. Turkey’s like my first date—doesn’t last long, and I’m too stuffed at the end.
34. The best thing about Thanksgiving leftovers? You don’t have to cook for a week.
35. Thanksgiving dinner: when the struggle to move becomes real.
36. Nothing says “happy Thanksgiving” like an entire day spent dodging questions about your personal life.
37. You know Thanksgiving is near when you start dreaming about mashed potatoes in your sleep.
38. The first rule of Thanksgiving dinner: don’t talk politics—unless it’s about the turkey.
39. I don’t need a therapist, I just need another slice of pie.
40. Thanksgiving is just a fancy way of saying, “Let’s eat until we need a nap.”
41. There’s no better way to spend Thanksgiving than with good food and good company… and hopefully a long, peaceful nap afterward.
42. There’s no such thing as too much stuffing—just too much turkey.
43. You can tell it’s Thanksgiving when everyone brings their best food—and their worst jokes.
44. It’s not Thanksgiving without someone asking, “What do you mean, ‘The turkey’s all gone’?”
45. I don’t always celebrate Thanksgiving, but when I do, I go all in—and then immediately regret it.
46. Here’s to another year of eating too much and having absolutely no regrets—until the next morning.
Conclusion
As we wrap up these 46 Thanksgiving one-liners, it’s clear that humor is the perfect way to spice up your holiday gathering. Whether it’s at the dinner table or over a cup of coffee after the meal, a well-timed joke can bring everyone closer together and make the day even more memorable. This Thanksgiving, remember to enjoy the food, cherish the moments with loved ones, and, of course, keep the jokes flowing. Happy Thanksgiving!
Related Topics