Dad jokes have a reputation for being corny, but these 44 savage dad jokes take that charm to a whole new level with a bit of a bite. They’re the kind of jokes that will make you simultaneously roll your eyes and burst out laughing. Perfect for those moments when you want to add a touch of unexpected humor to a conversation, whether it’s with family, friends, or colleagues. So, get ready to explore this collection of jokes that blend the classic dad – joke style with a more edgy, savage twist.
44 Savage Dad Jokes to Make You Laugh
1. I asked my dad if he could pass the salt. He said, “Sure, but you’re too young to be a sailor.”
2. My son asked me if he could have a pet octopus. I said, “No, we can’t afford an octopus – expensive pet.”
3. Daughter: “Dad, can you put my shoes on?” Dad: “I don’t think they’ll fit me, sweetie.”
4. I told my dad I was cold. He replied, “Well, go stand in the corner. It’s 90 degrees there.”
5. Son: “Dad, can you help me with my math homework?” Dad: “Sure, son. If you show me where your calculator is.”
6. My daughter wanted to go to the moon. I said, “Sorry, we’re fresh out of spaceships.”
7. Kid: “Dad, I’m hungry.” Dad: “Hi, Hungry, I’m Dad.”
8. I asked my dad for a glass of water. He handed me an empty glass and said, “Here, the water’s on the table.”
9. Daughter: “Dad, can I have a cookie?” Dad: “Sure, in the cookie store down the street.”
10. Son: “Dad, I’m bored.” Dad: “Well, go dig a hole and be board.”
11. I told my dad I was tired. He said, “Well, go lie down in the laundry. You’ll be wrung out in no time.”
12. My son asked if we could get a dog. I said, “No, we can’t afford the dog – catcher fees.”
13. Daughter: “Dad, why is the sky blue?” Dad: “Because it doesn’t want to be red, like your report card.”
14. I asked my dad if he could drive me to school. He said, “Sure, as soon as I find my car keys… which I hid from you last night.”
15. Kid: “Dad, can I have some ice cream?” Dad: “Sure, after you eat your broccoli – flavored ice cream.”
16. My daughter said she wanted to be a ballerina. I told her, “Well, you better start practicing your twirls… away from the china cabinet.”
17. Son: “Dad, can you play catch with me?” Dad: “Sure, if you can find a ball that’s not flat.”
18. I told my dad I was cold. He said, “Put on another layer of excuses.”
19. Daughter: “Dad, can I have a sleepover?” Dad: “Sure, at your friend’s house.”
20. My son asked if we could go to the park. I said, “Only if you can carry the park home with you when we’re done.”
21. Kid: “Dad, why is the grass green?” Dad: “Because it’s jealous of the money in my wallet and wants to look like it.”
22. I asked my dad for money for a new video game. He said, “Sure, here’s a quarter. Go buy a time – machine and get it when it was cheaper.”
23. Daughter: “Dad, can I have a pony?” Dad: “Sure, as soon as our backyard turns into a stable.”
24. Son: “Dad, can you help me build a treehouse?” Dad: “Sure, after you grow a tree big enough to hold it.”
25. I told my dad I was hot. He said, “Well, you’re on fire then. Go find a fire extinguisher.”
26. My son asked if we could get a new TV. I said, “Sure, when pigs fly… and bring us the money to buy it.”
27. Daughter: “Dad, can I have a new dress?” Dad: “Sure, when you learn to sew your own.”
28. I asked my dad if he could fix my bike. He said, “Sure, as soon as I find the part that’s broken… which could be anywhere in the universe.”
29. Kid: “Dad, can I have a snack?” Dad: “Sure, if you can find something edible in the empty pantry.”
30. My daughter wanted to learn how to play the guitar. I told her, “Well, first you have to learn to play the air – guitar… for about a year.”
31. Son: “Dad, can you take me fishing?” Dad: “Sure, as soon as the fish agree to jump into our boat.”
32. I told my dad I was sad. He said, “Well, cheer up. It could be worse. You could be a traffic cone.”
33. Daughter: “Dad, can I have a pet rabbit?” Dad: “Sure, when our house turns into a hutch.”
34. My son asked if we could go on a trip. I said, “Sure, if you can teleport us there.”
35. Kid: “Dad, why is the sun so bright?” Dad: “Because it’s showing off for the moon.”
36. I asked my dad for help with my science project. He said, “Sure, let me just put on my lab coat… which I lost years ago.”
37. Daughter: “Dad, can I have a cell phone?” Dad: “Sure, when you get a job to pay the bill.”
38. Son: “Dad, can you teach me to ride a bike?” Dad: “Sure, if you can find a bike that doesn’t have training wheels… in our garage full of junk.”
39. I told my dad I was thirsty. He said, “Well, go drink from the shower. It’s free.”
40. My son asked if we could get a cat. I said, “No, I’m allergic to cat -astrophes.”
41. Daughter: “Dad, can I have a party?” Dad: “Sure, if you can clean up the mess before it even starts.”
42. I asked my dad if he could take me to the movies. He said, “Sure, as soon as I win the lottery… which I never play.”
43. Kid: “Dad, can I have a toy?” Dad: “Sure, if you can find one that’s not already broken.”
44. My daughter wanted to learn karate. I told her, “Well, first you have to learn to fight off the mosquitoes… they’re the real enemies.”
Conclusion
These 44 savage dad jokes have provided a unique brand of humor that’s both funny and a little bit cheeky. Whether you shared them with your family, making them groan and laugh simultaneously, or just enjoyed them on your own, they’ve brought a dose of light – hearted fun. Dad jokes, even with a savage twist, have a way of creating memorable moments and strengthening bonds. Keep these jokes in your mental arsenal for future conversations, and continue to enjoy the lighter side of life. Here’s to more laughter and a world filled with the charm of these one of a kind dad jokes.
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