In 2025, dad jokes continue to be a lighthearted way to bring laughter and groans alike. These jokes, often characterized by their cheesy puns and unexpected twists, are perfect for sharing at family gatherings, on road trips, or just to brighten up an ordinary day. Here are 44 assistant dad jokes that are sure to be hits this year.
44 Assistant Dad Jokes in 2025
1. Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re shellfish.
2. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
3. I’m reading a book about anti – gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
4. Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
5. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s okay, he woke up.
6. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
7. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
8. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
9. Did you know the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
10. If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
11. The secret service isn’t allowed to yell “get down!” anymore when the president is about to be attacked. Now they have to yell “Donald, duck!”
12. I’m reading a book about anti – gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
13. What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
14. I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know.
15. What is the least spoken language in the world? Sign language.
16. My daughter screeched, “Daaaaaad, you haven’t listened to one word I’ve said, have you!?” What a strange way to start a conversation with me…
17. A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
18. My wife tried to unlatch our daughter’s car seat with one hand and said, “How do one – armed mothers do it?” Without missing a beat I replied, “Single – handedly.”
19. When a dad drives past a graveyard: Did you know that’s a popular cemetery? Yep, people are just dying to get in there!
20. My friend keeps saying “cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.” I know he means well.
21. Justice is a dish best served cold, if it were served warm it would be just water.
22. The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
23. Mom: “How do I look?” Dad: “With your eyes.”
24. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent.
25. What does a zombie vegetarian eat? “Grrr aaaaa iiii nnnn s!”
26. Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
27. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
28. What do you call a snowman with a six – pack? An abdominal snowman.
29. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
30. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
31. Why was the broom late? It over swept.
32. What’s the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth – hurty (two – thirty).
33. Why can’t a leopard hide? Because he’s always spotted.
34. Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash.
35. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus – rex.
36. Why did the man get fired from the orange juice factory? He couldn’t concentrate.
37. What’s the tallest building in the world? The library, because it has the most stories.
38. Why was the baby strawberry crying? Because its parents were in a jam.
39. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
40. What do you call a snowman’s dog? A slush – puppy.
41. Why was the doctor so angry? Because he had no patience (patients).
42. What do you call a bear that’s wearing a wig? A hairy – scary.
43. How does a bee get to school? By school buzz.
44. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
Conclusion
These dad jokes might be a bit on the cheesy side, but that’s what makes them so endearing. They have the power to bring people together, even if it’s just for a moment of shared laughter. So, the next time you’re looking to lighten the mood or add a little fun to your day, pull out one of these jokes and enjoy the reaction. After all, in 2025, a good dad joke is still worth its weight in gold.
Related Topics
