Easter is traditionally filled with sweetness—chocolate bunnies, pastel eggs, and soft spring vibes. But what if we infused the holiday with a little sass and sarcasm, courtesy of everyone’s favorite grumpy greeting card icon, Maxine? Known for her no-nonsense, dry wit and hilarious commentary on life’s everyday nonsense, Maxine brings a refreshing twist to Easter humor. Whether you’re hiding eggs, dodging in-laws, or just trying to make it through a brunch without rolling your eyes into next week, these 45 Maxine-style Easter jokes will deliver the perfect mix of cynical charm and irreverent fun. So grab your jellybeans and settle in—because this Easter, we’re cracking up in more ways than one.
45 Sassy Maxine Easter Jokes to Crack You Up
1. Egg-hausted Already
Easter’s just a holiday where I hide eggs, my patience, and my sanity—good luck finding any of them.
2. Bunny Business
I told the Easter Bunny to leave chocolate and take the bills. Guess who didn’t listen? Stupid hare.
3. Hop to It? No Thanks
Everyone’s hopping into spring. I’m hopping back into bed.
4. Deviled Eggs and Devilish Relatives
Easter’s great—deviled eggs, ham, and three hours of pretending I like my family.
5. Chocolate Bunny Blues
I like my chocolate bunnies like I like people—silent and missing their heads.
6. Peeps Show
Why do Peeps exist? For the same reason I attend Easter brunch—pure guilt and artificial sweetness.
7. Spring Forward, Fall on My Face
We lost an hour for daylight saving and gained three pounds in Easter candy. Progress?
8. Basket Case
I tried to make an Easter basket but ended up just stress-eating all the jellybeans. Again.
9. Floral Overkill
Nothing says Easter like being smothered by aggressive tulips and awkward hugs.
10. Sunday Best
If you see me in pastels and pantyhose, call for help—I’ve been abducted.
11. Resurrection of Sass
He is risen, and so is my intolerance for small talk at Easter dinner.
12. Egg Hunt or Wild Goose Chase?
I organized an egg hunt. I lost my will to participate five minutes in.
13. Bunny-Ear Headbands
They tried to get me to wear bunny ears. I told them I’m more of a “horns and pitchfork” gal.
14. Caffeine and Cadbury
I run on coffee, sarcasm, and Cadbury Creme Eggs until further notice.
15. Church and Chill
They said “let’s go to sunrise service.” I said “sunrise is for chickens and regrets.”
16. April Fool’s Encore
Easter and April Fool’s are close this year. I call that poor planning and great pranking potential.
17. Jellybean Roulette
Eating a mystery jellybean is like talking to your cousin’s new boyfriend—risky and regrettable.
18. Marshmallow Madness
Peeps multiply like my laundry pile—unwelcome and somehow always sticky.
19. Resurrection Rolls and Dinner Rolls
One symbolizes life returning, the other symbolizes my jeans not fitting by Monday.
20. Holy Ham Overload
If Easter is about renewal, then explain why I just renewed my bloating.
21. Bunny Trail of Destruction
I followed the bunny trail and found a mess of candy wrappers and regrets.
22. Ham, Spam, and Family Drama
Nothing bonds a family like ham, passive-aggression, and undercooked scalloped potatoes.
23. Lawn Chair Evangelism
I skipped church and watched the neighbors’ egg hunt with a lawn chair and lemonade. Divine, really.
24. Lipstick on a Bunny
Trying to make Easter “classy” is like putting lipstick on a chocolate bunny. It’s still melting.
25. Sticky Egg Dye Fingers
Easter crafts are all fun and games until your hands look like a tie-dye accident.
26. Silent Prayers, Loud Family
We prayed before the meal and then screamed over who took the last crescent roll. Amen.
27. Allergic to Spring
Spring brings flowers, pollen, and the annual tradition of sneezing my face off.
28. Peeps as Earplugs
I shoved Peeps in my ears to avoid hearing another story about someone’s gluten-free deviled eggs.
29. Aunt’s Jell-O Surprise
If it jiggles and glows in the dark, it’s not food—it’s a biohazard.
30. Deviled Egg Sabotage
I made deviled eggs with extra paprika just to watch the weak suffer.
31. Bunny Ears and Bad Decisions
Last time I wore bunny ears, I ended up in three family photos and one awkward group hug.
32. Floral Prints and Forced Smiles
Pastel dresses don’t hide the fact that I’d rather be home watching crime documentaries.
33. Lawn Egg Hunt Warfare
This year’s egg hunt was less “fun family activity” and more “Hunger Games: Easter Edition.”
34. Resurrection of My Appetite
The spirit might be willing, but the waistband is weak.
35. Ham and Hypocrisy
Everyone gives up something for Lent. I gave up patience—and it’s not coming back.
36. Easter Vigil or Netflix Binge
I was going to attend the vigil, but the Lord understands Hulu had a new season drop.
37. Sugary Rebirth
I’m all about Easter rebirth—especially if it involves Reese’s Eggs and elastic pants.
38. Spring Has Sprung (a Leak)
My motivation is like spring weather—warm one second, icy and stormy the next.
39. Egg Dye and Wine Stains
We dyed eggs and spilled red wine. One was intentional, the other was divine intervention.
40. Seasonal Denial
They say spring brings hope. I say it brings weeds, bugs, and pastel trauma.
41. Grandma’s Easter Bonnet
She wore a bonnet, I wore a smirk. Fashion is subjective, after all.
42. Bunny vs. Budget
Easter baskets cost more than my grocery bill. I wept quietly into a hollow bunny.
43. Holy Week, Batman
It’s Holy Week, and I’m feeling unholy levels of stress and snack cravings.
44. Jellybean Taxation
I don’t hide eggs for the kids—I hide them for the chance to steal the candy later.
45. Brunch With the Beast
Nothing tests your faith like Easter brunch with Uncle Carl and his three conspiracy theories.
Conclusion
Let’s face it—Easter can be just as stressful as it is sweet. But with a Maxine-style attitude, a mug of coffee, and a few sarcastic remarks in your back pocket, it becomes a little more bearable—and a lot more fun. These 45 jokes prove that you don’t have to be all sunshine and spring flowers to enjoy the holiday. Sometimes, a good eye roll and a perfectly timed quip are exactly what Easter needs. So go ahead—put on those bunny slippers, raise a toast with your mimosa, and channel your inner Maxine. This Easter, let the sass be with you.
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