As the holiday season approaches, there’s no better way to spread joy and cheer than with a good old-fashioned Christmas joke. Whether you’re gathered around the dinner table with family or sharing a laugh with friends at a holiday party, these festive jokes are sure to bring smiles to everyone’s faces. In this article, we’ll explore a collection of the top Christmas jokes for 2024, guaranteed to add a touch of merriment to your celebrations.
The Top Christmas Jokes for 2024
1. What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar? He got 25 days!
2. Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas? Santa Jaws!
3. What do they sing at a snowman’s birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow!
4. What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school? The elf-abet!
5. What kind of motorbike does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson!
6. What did Santa do when he went speed dating? He pulled a cracker!
7. Why was the turkey in the pop group? Because he was the only one with drumsticks!
8. What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas Quacker!
9. What goes “Oh, Oh, Oh”? Santa walking backwards!
10. Why was the snowman looking through the carrots? He was picking his nose!
11. Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can ‘ho ho ho’!
12. What is the best Christmas present in the world? A broken drum, you just can’t beat it!
13. What do snowmen wear on their heads? Ice caps!
14. What did Adam say the day before Christmas? “It’s Christmas, Eve!”
15. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite!
16. What did the stamp say to the Christmas card? Stick with me and we’ll go places!
17. Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? Because they were two deer!
18. What does the Queen call her Christmas Broadcast? The One Show!
19. Why don’t you ever see Santa in hospital? Because he has private elf care!
20. How did Mary and Joseph know Jesus’ weight when he was born? They had a weigh in a manger!
21. Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars? Their days are numbered!
22. How did Scrooge win the football game? The ghost of Christmas passed!
23. What do angry mice send to each other at Christmas? Cross-mouse cards!
24. What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!
25. What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree? Nice gnawing you!
26. What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas? Twerky!
27. What does Santa do with out of shape elves? Sends them to an elf Farm.
28. Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor? Because he had a low “elf” esteem!
29. Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A mince spy!
30. How do snowmen get around? They ride an icicle!
31. What do snowmen have for breakfast? Snowflakes!
32. What does Santa do when his elves misbehave? He gives them the sack!
33. What did Santa say to the smoker? Please don’t smoke, it’s bad for my elf!
34. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsilitis!
35. What’s the most popular Christmas wine? ‘But I don’t like Brussels sprouts!’
36. What’s green, covered in tinsel and goes ribbet ribbet? A mistle-toad!
37. Which famous playwright was terrified of Christmas? Noël Coward!
38. What carol is heard in the desert? ‘O camel ye faithful!’
39. How many letters are in the Christmas alphabet? Only 25, there’s no L!
40. What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees? Horn-aments!
41. Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing? They always drop their needles!
42. How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit? No Brussels!
43. How does Christmas Day end? With the letter Y!
Conclusion
As we gather with loved ones to celebrate the magic of the holiday season, let us not forget the power of laughter to bring joy, warmth, and cheer to our festivities. Whether sharing a joke around the Christmas dinner table, including a humorous message in a holiday card, or surprising friends with a festive joke during a virtual celebration, let us embrace the joy of sharing laughter and spread the spirit of Christmas far and wide. With these top Christmas jokes for 2024, may your holiday season be filled with laughter, love, and the magic of the season. Merry Christmas and happy laughing!