Sailors have a long tradition of storytelling and humor, often used to lighten the mood during long voyages and challenging times at sea. Whether you’re a seasoned mariner or a landlubber, these sailor jokes are sure to bring a smile to your face. In this article, we’ve curated 39 of the best sailor jokes, each unique and guaranteed to give you a good laugh.
Anchors Aweigh: Starting Off Light
1. Why did the sailor bring a rope to the bar?
Because he wanted to tie one on!
2. What’s a sailor’s least favorite vegetable?
Leeks.
3. How do you catch a squirrel on a ship?
Climb a tree and act like a nut!
4. Why don’t sailors like to watch movies?
They prefer reel life over real life.
5. What did the sailor say to the impatient boat?
Hold your seahorses!
6. How do sailors communicate with each other?
By using seashell phones.
7. What do you get when you cross a sailor with a snowman?
Frostbite.
8. Why did the sailor go to school?
To improve his sea grades.
9. How do sailors get their news?
From the current events.
10. Why are sailors so bad at basketball?
Because they always travel.
11. What did the ocean say to the sailor?
Nothing, it just waved.
12. Why did the sailor always carry a pencil and paper?
In case he needed to draw a line in the sand.
13. Why did the sailor get a job at the bakery?
He wanted to learn how to make dough!
14. What do you call a sailor who can sing?
A sea tenor.
15. Why don’t sailors ever get lost?
Because they always follow their compass-ion.
16. How do sailors organize a party?
They deck the hulls.
17. What do you call a nervous sailor?
A jitter sea.
18. Why did the sailor cross the road?
To get to the other tide.
19. What’s a sailor’s favorite kind of music?
Heavy metal, because it’s full of anchors.
20. Why did the sailor blush?
Because he saw the ship’s bottom.
21. How do sailors keep their uniforms dry?
With a sea breeze!
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22. What’s a sailor’s favorite type of sandwich?
A sub-marine.
23. Why did the sailor refuse to play cards?
Because he was worried about being dealt a bad hand.
24. What do you call a ship’s kitchen?
The galley, because it’s always cooking up something good.
25. Why did the sailor wear two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.
26. What’s a sailor’s favorite movie?
Pirates of the Carri-bean.
27. How do sailors stay fit?
By doing plenty of anchor-ups.
28. Why did the sailor go to the doctor?
He felt a little off course.
29. What do sailors use to clean their teeth?
A tooth schooner.
30. How do sailors keep their ships looking good?
By using lots of elbow grease.
31. What did the sailor name his dog?
Scurvy, because he always wanted him by his side.
32. Why don’t sailors tell secrets on a boat?
Because it’s full of leaks.
33. What kind of socks do sailors wear?
Argyle, because they’re always in a knot.
34. What’s a sailor’s favorite drink?
Rum, of course!
35. Why do sailors always carry salt with them?
In case they encounter a sea monster, they can make it a little tastier.
36. What do you get when you cross a sailor with an artist?
A sketchy sea captain.
37. Why did the sailor bring a ladder on board?
To climb aboard!
38. What do you call a sailor’s hairstyle?
A crew cut.
39. Why did the sailor become a musician?
He wanted to rock the boat!
Conclusion: Sailor Humor to Keep You Afloat
Humor has always been an essential part of maritime culture, helping sailors cope with the rigors of life at sea. These jokes not only reflect the wit and wisdom of sailors but also serve as a bridge between those who live on the water and those who dwell on land. Whether you’re sharing a laugh with friends or brightening someone’s day, these sailor jokes are sure to leave you with a smile. So next time you’re feeling a bit down, remember these nautical nuggets and let the sailor’s spirit of joy and resilience lift you up.