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40 Funny Menopause Jokes For Her’s Next Phase

by Hazel

Menopause can be a challenging phase in life, marked by physical and emotional changes that can feel overwhelming. Hot flashes, mood swings, memory lapses, and sleepless nights are just a few of the symptoms that many women experience during this transition. While it’s important to address and manage these symptoms with proper medical care and support, finding humor in the situation can also provide significant relief. Laughter is known to be a powerful medicine, capable of lifting spirits and providing a fresh perspective on life’s difficulties. In this article, we present a collection of 40 unique and funny menopause jokes to lighten the mood and bring a smile to your face. Let’s embrace the ups and downs of menopause with a good laugh!

Best Menopause Jokes

1. Why is menopause called menopause?
Because mad cow disease was taken.

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2. Who finishes their sentences without a period?
Menopausal convicts.

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3. What is the most common way for a husband to end up sleeping on the couch?
Forgetting to delete his internet history after reading HumorNama’s menopause jokes!

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4. Did you hear about the English teacher who went to prison for so long that she went through menopause?
She was most upset that there would be no period at the end of her sentence.

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5. Yo mama so old, menopause happened right after the crustaceous period.

6. What does a menopausal Vietnam vet suffer from?
Hot flashbacks.

7. What do you call an anarchist grandmother who just found out she’s pregnant?
Rebel without a menopause.

8. Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Menopause!
(Oh.)
No more periods!!
(Yay!!!)
By the way, here’s your beard.

9. Jokes about menopause and PMS are never ever funny.
Period!

10. How do you know your fridge is going through menopause?
It’s all out of eggs.

11. What if it’s not global warming?
Maybe it’s just planetary menopause.

12. Why did Bruce Jenner wait until age 65 to become a woman?
He wanted to avoid menopause.

13. For man, how is having a bad breakup like going through menopause?
It sucks until you realize you don’t have any more girl problems.

14. What happens when American punctuation meets British punctuation?
A period meets a full stop = menopause.

15. If women go through menopause.
Do men go through womenopause?

16. Yo mama so stupid she thought menopause was a button on the stereo.

17. What is Menopause?
When a school of small fish stops suddenly.

18. What are the phases before & after menopause?
Menostart & menostop.

19. Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Menopause.
(awkward silence)

20. Did you know there’s a middle-aged women-only activist group whose goal is to literally stop all men?
They call themselves ‘Menopause.’

See Also: 30+ European Dad Joke to Make You Groan

21. A married couple has been together for 60 years.
“After living for so long and observing so much, I have decided that men have it worse in this world,” the husband says to his wife one day out of the blue.
The wife is clearly offended by his remark and asks him to elaborate. “Women start having periods during puberty,” the husband continues, “so you have to deal with bleeding, cramps, PMS, and all kinds of complications.”
“So far, I agree with you,” the wife scoffs.
“Then you start having babies,” the husband continues. You have to deal with morning sickness, unusual cravings, and eventually labor, a pain I can’t even imagine.”
The wife nods smugly and encourages him to go on.
“Finally,” the husband exclaimed, “you’ve reached menopause.” You have to deal with mood swings, hot flashes, and, perhaps most importantly, coming to terms with your own mortality.”
The wife was visibly perplexed at this point. “I completely agree with everything you’ve said so far,” she said, “but how in the world do men have it worse?”
“Because we have to deal with women!”

22. Why did the vampire couple divorce after 45 years?
She had reached menopause.

23. Do you know that women do get hotter as they age?
It’s called a menopause.

24. What’s the similarity between women in their menopause and schoolchildren?
“Last period, let’s go!”

25. What do you call the period when women take a break from relationships with guys?
Menopause.

26. How is Adult life similar to a movie?
Most women just end up either menostopping or menopausing it all for a while about halfway through then ask you how it all went several years later.

27. What can a husband do while his wife is in menopause?
Keep busy.

28. How is menopause actually good?
You see night sweats and hot flashes are nature’s way of lowering your heating bill so you can save more money for your retirement.

29. Have you heard about the local high school which is having a menopause seminar?
There will be a demenstruation after the last period.

30. What’s so special about the Menopause bar?
All the women are hot.

31. How does a husband predict the mood of his menopausal wife?
Assume her mood is lousy, and occasionally he’ll be wrong.

32. What’s the difference between a pit bull and a woman in menopause?
Lipstick.

33. What’s 10 times worse than a woman in menopause?
Two women in menopause.

34. Which is scarier, a puppy or a rational menopausal woman?
A puppy, because there is no such thing as a rational woman in menopause.

35. What are the 7 stages of menopause?
Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, Psycho.

36. Why do women stop bleeding as they approach menopause?
Because their varicose veins require all of the blood.

37. What women’s issues begin with “Men?”
Menstruation, menopause, and mental breakdowns are a few examples.

38. What are the benefits of valet parking for menopausal women?
Valets don’t forget where they park your car.

39. Do you know about menopause origin?
It’s called menopause for a reason. Men should pause before they speak.

40. What is Menopause in Hollywood terms?
Start out each day as Mary Poppins and end it as Cruella De Vil.

Conclusion

Finding humor in life’s challenges is a healthy way to cope and manage stress, and menopause is no exception. These jokes highlight the common experiences of menopause, helping to bring some lightness to this stage of life. It’s important to remember that everyone’s journey through menopause is unique, and while humor can provide relief, seeking support and understanding from healthcare providers, friends, and family is also crucial. Share these menopause jokes with others who might need a chuckle, and remember to laugh at the little things. After all, a good laugh can make even the hottest of flashes a bit more bearable.

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