Walks into a bar” jokes are a staple of humor that have been tickling audiences for generations. These jokes often start with a person, animal, or even an object walking into a bar, followed by a clever, absurd, or pun-filled punchline. The structure of these jokes allows for endless creativity, making them a beloved format across cultures and ages. In this article, we’ll explore the enduring appeal of these jokes and share 43 unique “walks into a bar” jokes, each one distinct and guaranteed to bring a smile to your face.
1. The Time Traveler
A time traveler walks into a bar. He orders a drink. The bartender says, “That’ll be $5.” The time traveler says, “It was only $3 in 2020!”
2. The Mathematician
A mathematician walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks, “What’ll it be?” The mathematician replies, “I’ll have a πnt, please.”
3. The Chicken
A chicken walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Why the long face?” The chicken replies, “I crossed the road and ended up here!”
4. The Dyslexic Man
A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He says, “Oops, wrong place!”
5. The Philosopher
A philosopher walks into a bar. The bartender says, “What’s your poison?” The philosopher replies, “Does it matter? Reality is just an illusion.”
6. The String
A string walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve your kind here!” The string leaves, ties itself into a knot, and frays the ends. It walks back in, and the bartender says, “Hey, aren’t you that string?” The string replies, “I’m a frayed knot.”
7. The Optimist
An optimist walks into a bar and orders a half-full glass of whiskey.
8. The Pessimist
A pessimist walks into a bar and orders a half-empty glass of whiskey.
9. The Chemist
A chemist walks into a bar and orders H₂O. The chemist next to him says, “I’ll have H₂O too.” The second chemist dies.
10. The Invisible Man
An invisible man walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, I can’t serve you. I can’t see you.”
See Also: 40 Best Engineering Jokes That Will Make Your Day Better
11. The Horse
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey!” The horse says, “You read my mind.”
12. The Rabbi, Priest, and Minister
A rabbi, a priest, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, “Is this some kind of joke?”
13. The Gorilla
A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, “That’ll be $10.” The gorilla pays. The bartender says, “We don’t get many gorillas in here.” The gorilla replies, “At these prices, I’m not surprised.”
14. The Duck
A duck walks into a bar and says, “Got any grapes?” The bartender says, “No, and if you ask again, I’ll nail your beak to the bar.” The next day, the duck walks in and asks, “Got any nails?” The bartender says, “No.” The duck says, “Got any grapes?”
15. The Grammar Nazi
A grammar Nazi walks into a bar and orders, “Whom do I have to speak to for a drink?”
16. The Vegan
A vegan walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We’ve got a great menu.” The vegan replies, “I’m just here to tell everyone.”
17. The Pirate
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his pants. The bartender says, “What’s with the wheel?” The pirate replies, “Arrr, it’s driving me nuts!”
18. The Polar Bear
A polar bear walks into a bar and says, “I’ll have a gin and… tonic.” The bartender asks, “Why the big pause?” The polar bear replies, “I was born with them.”
19. The Magician
A magician walks into a bar and orders a drink. He disappears before paying.
20. The Bass Player
A bass player walks into a bar and says, “I’ll have a beer.” The bartender says, “We’re out of beer.” The bass player says, “That’s okay, I’ll just drink root.”
21. The Blind Man
A blind man walks into a bar, and then a table, and then a chair.
22. The Hippie
A hippie walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, “That’ll be $3.50.” The hippie hands him $5. The bartender says, “Want your change?” The hippie replies, “Nah, keep it for the cause, man.”
23. The Onion
An onion walks into a bar. The bartender starts crying. The onion says, “I get that a lot.”
24. The Economist
An economist walks into a bar and orders a drink. He looks at the price and says, “This is not in my model.”
25. The Plumber
A plumber walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, “Here’s your drink.” The plumber replies, “Sorry, I can’t fix it unless you tell me what’s wrong.”
26. The Ghost
A ghost walks into a bar and orders a booze. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve spirits here.”
27. The Sandwich
A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”
28. The Guitarist
A guitarist walks into a bar. The bartender says, “What’ll you have?” The guitarist says, “Something in the key of G.”
29. The Software Developer
A software developer walks into a bar, orders a drink, and asks for a beer. The bartender serves him a beer. The developer says, “Is this gluten-free?”
30. The Philosopher and a Dog
A philosopher and a dog walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What’s with the dog?” The philosopher replies, “He’s the one with all the answers.”
31. The Boxer
A boxer walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, “You’re hitting the sauce pretty hard tonight.”
32. The Accountant
An accountant walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, “That’ll be $5.” The accountant says, “How about we make it $4.99?”
33. The Hippopotamus
A hippopotamus walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, “We don’t serve hippos.” The hippo says, “You’ve got to be kidding, right?”
34. The Vampire
A vampire walks into a bar and asks for a cup of hot water. The bartender says, “I thought you guys drank blood.” The vampire pulls out a tea bag and says, “I’m making tea.”
35. The Matador
A matador walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, “What can I get you?” The matador replies, “Something with a bit of a kick.”
36. The Astronaut
An astronaut walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks, “How was your day?” The astronaut replies, “It was out of this world.”
37. The Statistician
A statistician walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, “We don’t get many statisticians here.” The statistician replies, “Actually, the probability of that happening is quite high.”
38. The Snowman
A snowman walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, “What’ll it be?” The snowman replies, “Anything, as long as it’s not too hot.”
39. The Cat
A cat walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, “What’s your poison?” The cat replies, “Milk, and make it snappy.”
40. The Painter
A painter walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, “What’s with the brush?” The painter replies, “I’m just adding some color to my night.”
41. The Skeleton
A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.
42. The Doctor
A doctor walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, “How are you doing?” The doctor replies, “It’s been a patient day.”
43. The Magician and the Rabbit
A magician walks into a bar and pulls a rabbit out of his hat. The rabbit says, “I was hoping for a carrot!”
Conclusion
“Walks into a bar” jokes are more than just a punchline; they are a window into the boundless creativity of humor. Each joke in this collection brings a fresh twist to a familiar format, proving that there’s always room for one more laugh in a bar. Whether you’re sharing these jokes with friends or just enjoying them on your own, they are sure to brighten your day and leave you chuckling long after the last punchline. So next time you’re at a bar, remember, the best stories always start with someone—or something—walking in.