The “12 Days of Christmas” is a beloved holiday song that has been enjoyed for generations. But what if we added a little humor to the mix? Below, we’ve created a series of 40 jokes inspired by each day of this classic tune, designed to bring some festive cheer and laughter to your holiday season. Each joke stands on its own, without commentary, allowing you to enjoy the pure humor of the holiday spirit.
On the First Day of Christmas
1. On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… a partridge with a GPS because it kept getting lost in the pear tree.
2. On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… a pear tree with Wi-Fi because the partridge needed to tweet.
3. On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… a partridge with an Amazon account because it kept ordering pears online.
On the Second Day of Christmas
4. On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… two turtle doves that moonlight as wedding planners.
5. On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… two turtle doves and a lifetime supply of turtle wax.
6. On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… two turtle doves that decided to elope and skip the whole song.
On the Third Day of Christmas
7. On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… three French hens who only eat croissants.
8. On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… three French hens that refuse to cluck in anything but French.
9. On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… three French hens with berets and an attitude.
On the Fourth Day of Christmas
10. On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… four calling birds who only communicate via text.
11. On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… four calling birds with unlimited minutes but no one to call.
12. On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… four calling birds that prefer video calls but have terrible Wi-Fi.
On the Fifth Day of Christmas
13. On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… five golden rings that only fit on my pinky.
14. On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… five golden rings, and one of them was plastic.
15. On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… five golden rings, all from a vending machine.
See Also: 35 Christmas Light Jokes
On the Sixth Day of Christmas
16. On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… six geese a-laying, and a complaint from the HOA.
17. On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… six geese a-laying, and a mess I had to clean up.
18. On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… six geese a-laying, and a “Do Not Disturb” sign.
On the Seventh Day of Christmas
19. On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… seven swans a-swimming, and a pool cleaning bill.
20. On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… seven swans a-swimming, in a bathtub far too small.
21. On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… seven swans a-swimming, and a lesson in bird care.
On the Eighth Day of Christmas
22. On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… eight maids a-milking who went on strike for better wages.
23. On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… eight maids a-milking, but they all preferred almond milk.
24. On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… eight maids a-milking, and a cow who joined a union.
On the Ninth Day of Christmas
25. On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… nine ladies dancing, and a noise complaint from the neighbors.
26. On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… nine ladies dancing, all with two left feet.
27. On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… nine ladies dancing, and a DJ who only plays polka.
On the Tenth Day of Christmas
28. On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… ten lords a-leaping, but they all had sprained ankles.
29. On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… ten lords a-leaping, and a trampoline that didn’t hold up.
30. On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… ten lords a-leaping, and a court order for trespassing.
On the Eleventh Day of Christmas
31. On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… eleven pipers piping, but only one could carry a tune.
32. On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… eleven pipers piping, all playing different songs at once.
33. On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… eleven pipers piping, and a pair of noise-canceling headphones.
On the Twelfth Day of Christmas
34. On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… twelve drummers drumming, and a headache that won’t go away.
35. On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… twelve drummers drumming, and not one of them had rhythm.
36. On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… twelve drummers drumming, and a reminder to soundproof the house.
Bonus Jokes Inspired by the Entire Song
37. Why did the partridge leave the pear tree? Because it found a better deal on Zillow.
38. Why were the turtle doves upset? Because they were promised a love nest, not a noisy apartment.
39. Why did the French hens quit the song? They refused to work without their morning espresso.
40. What did the drummers do after the twelfth day? They started a band called “The Exhausted Elves.”
Conclusion
The “12 Days of Christmas” may be a timeless classic, but adding a touch of humor can make the season even brighter. These 40 jokes offer a playful twist on the traditional lyrics, bringing a smile to your face and a chuckle to your heart. Whether you’re sharing these with friends, family, or just enjoying a good laugh on your own, they are sure to add some festive cheer to your holiday season. Remember, laughter is the best gift of all—next to five golden rings, of course!